Relationships and Confidence: Interview with Dr. Dar (Relationship Expert)

by Amelia Old
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Dr. Dar (Darshana Hawks) is a Relationship Success Expert. She helps put the pieces back together and makes sure you are getting the relationship you desire. According to her website, Dr. Dar has spent a decade creating a system that will help you communicate better, leading to harmony and understanding. Ultimately, this affects your inner beauty, your self confidence and who you are as an individual. 

Currently, you can see Dr. Dar share tips weekly on Fox News Rising (Charlotte). She took some time out of her busy schedule to share with us how your relationship can affect your inner beauty as well as share a few personal beauty secrets. I love her definition of True Beauty!!!



What led to your interest in becoming a relationship expert? Honestly, being tired of experiencing one bad relationship in my 20’s and 30’s after another.Seeing that family history plays out in our relationships. 

I found out about this new thing called ‘coaching’ 15 years ago and I was all over it, learning how to excel as a coach and hiring my own coaches to help me personally and professionally – I loved that coaching is about meeting you where you are and catapulting you to where you ultimately want to be using tried and proven principles that work in business.

About 10 years ago, I was facilitating a group workshop and a gentleman approached me saying he had a feeling that I could help him.  His wife was packing up and leaving him that very weekend and he asked if I would help them.  I agreed as I viewed this as somewhat a Divine Appointment.  His wife agreed as well.  I spent 24 hours with them and they are still together today, happily married.  This really catapulted me into owning that I am a Relationship Expert.

In what ways can our relationships affect our self-confidence (inner beauty)? Our relationships have everything to do with our self-confidence.  It does not matter if the relationship is with friends, parents, other family members, a boy/girlfriend, spouse, or even our relationship with ourselves – the degree to how self-confident we are is in many respects a reflection of the health of our relationships. 

More importantly, what we do about our unhealthy relationships and who we select to help us make them healthy contributes to the expansion or reduction of self-confidence.  Working with a trained professional Relationship Expert can expand how you feel about yourself, help you identify the unhealthy aspects of your relationships so that you can take charge of making them healthy once again or make the choice to let the relationship go – much faster and compassionately than you can do so on your own or with friends and family.

Some women (and men) stay in relationships for fear of being alone. What tips do you have for these individuals so that they may have the strength to move on from a negative situation? First you have to make the definite choice to leave.  It is less about strength and more about choice and the reasons why you desire getting out.  The reasons can be very compelling.  The first question I ask women and men who come to me with this concern is ‘Is being alone worse than what you have right now for the rest of your life?’  because usually the answer is yes, it is.  But that is a reactionary response.  Usually the fear of being alone is tied to something else such as not being able to financially provide for oneself.  Fear of not having money is a real reason people stay in their existing relationships. 

It usually is not a fear of being alone when we dig deep to understand the inner workings of what is really transpiring.There are some cases where people stay in their relationships because it is better than nothing.  My take on that is these individuals are actually resigned and don’t want to take the extra step in working on themselves and spend the time and energy to learn how to find a person that is a better fit for a long term relationship.  They would rather not put out the effort to cause a change in their lives but would rather take what they perceive as the easy route and stay where they are.   Having the strength to move on from a negative situation is directly connected to who you have working with you side by side every step of the way getting you prepared and strong to move out and on with your life.  Hiring a trained professional who has expertise with helping someone in your situation is critical.  Doing it yourself is the hard way.  Getting assistance offers support and ease that otherwise would be daunting.

For those who have recently ended a relationship, do you have advice to help them think positively and look toward the future rather than focus on the past? The best thing a person can do is to not work through this on their own.  The tendency is to shut yourself out of the world for a while OR to go to your girlfriends or family for consolation.  Having support from friends and family to keep you engaged in activity is one thing but having their support to sort through the intricacies of that relationship, why it ended, what went wrong, etc. is better left to the trained professionals who know how to help you heal and move forward much faster than having a consoling friend or family member by your side. 

I am shamelessly promoting the work of Relationship Experts and Coaches because I know how quickly I recovered in my relationship history with a coach by my side versus when I did not work with one…so this is a testimonial from personal experience.

Dr. Dar, I can't do an interview with you and not ask what's in YOUR beauty bag? Jane Iredale lip gloss – cannot live without her lip gloss in candied rose or her lip stain, Bad Gal Mascara by Benefit, Urban Decay eye shadow – of course in a shade of purple and Mary Kay skin care and foundation – cannot live without the natural feeling makeup

You spend your life helping others improve their relationships. You must take time for yourself. What's your favorite spa/salon service and where do you get it done? Voci Spa is my favorite for facials and beauty treatments. Elegant Nails is my favorite, currently, for mani and pedi’s. Timeless Touch is my must have massage therapist.

How do YOU define true beauty?  I define true beauty by the degree with which you own who you are, know yourself inside and out, and honor yourself with compassion, self-love, grace, authenticity, and the health of all of your relationships.

Do you have any additional tips/comments? I invite you to sign up for the Attracting Love ecourse for Singles or Relationship Repair (even if yours does not need repair) for couples on my website

For singles who want to fast track having love in their lives and be in love by Christmas or sooner, reserve your seat for the Fast Track to Lasting Love workshop that starts next month. 


 You can also find Dr. Dar on Facebook and Twitter by clicking the images below! 

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Gena Morris May 9, 2011 - 12:15 pm

great interview. I think a coach is a much better place to go instead of a therapist when you are figuring things out. This has left me thinking…


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